I'm cracking

So I feel like I'm really beginning to lose it.

I applied for a job. It had several steps to actually getting hired and signing a contract, and I thought I'd have time to do it all at my leisure. Turns out I had six days, start to finish, to get the contract documents in and signed. Woof.

1. Passed my demo interview, no problems.
2. Passed the mock class first try (apparently that's a big deal).
3. Got most of the documents in.
4. Passed the ESL certification course today (good grief it was tough).
5. I'm recording a profile video tomorrow morning.
6. I'm taking a professional-looking photo tomorrow morning, too.
7. Upload 5 and 6, sign the contract, and I'll open my schedule for teaching.

I've been super stressed about that certification stuff, and the last minute deadlines I didn't know about until it was too late. I don't do well with last minute deadlines. I like to know my deadlines well in advance so I can pace myself and not feel rushed, confident the work I'm turning in is my best. I know some people "thrive" in that system of last-minute proficiency, but that isn't me. Planners and pacing are the only ways to live. Procrastination induces panic and hysteria. I keep stopping to remind myself that it is really not that bad, the world isn't ending just because the deadline is tomorrow and I had very little notice. I am probably overthinking a lot. But reminding myself of that doesn't take away that nervous, irrational frenzy that plagues my mind and makes mountains of mess out of lego molehills. My poor kids. I've been less of a mom the last few days.

David's surgery went super smoothly. He really wanted to get home, so he forced himself to quickly eat and drink right after surgery. The first time he stood up he realized how drugged he was and he nearly toppled over. They still sent him home, though. He was so woozy while wheeled him to the car. And then as soon as the car got moving he was done. I'm grateful they supplied us with a barf bag, and we stopped for ginger ale on the way home. His second attempt at holding down liquids and solids was successful and he was fine by the end of the day.

Elizabeth has been a beast. I think she's given up napping, but its not pretty. If she takes a nap she is up until 10:00 at night. Or later! There were two nights where she just screamed for so long that I pulled her out and she watched me fold and listen to work trainings on Youtube until midnight. The days she doesn't nap she goes to bed on time, but life is miserable for all of us starting around 4:00 until 7:00 when she finally goes to bed for the night. Let us add to that mess! The other day she climbed out of her crib, lost her balance on the top of it, and landed, HARD, on the floor. That is 1) very dangerous, and 2) really risky for her hips. We CANNOT risk something happening to those hips!!!! So. We converted her crib to a toddler bed. She woke me up at 3:00a.m. last night by shoving the computer keyboard and mouse in my face and asking to watch Coco. That was a hard pass from me. Fortunately cuddling for a minute then placing her back in her bed was enough to get her back to sleep.

Andrea has a big project due in school tomorrow. I think it is rather cruel to assign a massive project like this for the very last days of school, but whatever. The entire 3rd grade is making a "mini society", and they all had to come up with businesses and things to sell. Did she choose the simple, already-got-all-the-supplies-we-need, bath bombs and sugar scrubs? Nope. She wanted to go all out and make pet rocks for her business. 😑 Fortunately I left a lot of it up to her, I only procured the rocks. She did all the other work, and we did have all the supplies she needed (apart from those rocks). I can't wait to see how it all comes together at the school tomorrow, but I do kinda wish she'd just done the bath bombs. She's goofy. But hey, now she's got a few business ideas she can build off of in the future. Silver lining, right?
Andrea performed at the Motor City Irish Festival on Saturday. She's so good at counting, and so confident on when to start. Both songs she counted everyone in, though the first time the little girl leading them on wouldn't listen to her and waited for the teacher to get back to count them on. It irked Andrea, which made me laugh. But she had fun, and there were a lot of fun acts and things to do and shops to see. It was like going to the Michigan Irish Festival in Muskegon, only on a much smaller scale. Muskegon is SO big, and there's SO much to see. This was much more manageable for a mom hauling four kids around by herself. I was told I need to go to the Dublin, Ohio Irish festival; apparently that one takes two solid days to see everything. Maybe we'll do that one next year when J can help with the kids.

Peter, my happy-go-lucky kid, has had a rough go of it lately. We're trying to get him to stop wetting the bed at night, and I'm trying to help him be more independent in taking care of his room. Since totally reorganizing the boys' room it has been so much easier for him to keep things clean, but it is still an incredible effort for him. And then I've really not been paying attention to him as I should have. I've been so wrapped up in getting things together for the interviews and my class, and I've been so short and impatient with him. Poor guy, he really is just so tenderhearted, and I have had no patience for it this week. I need to do something special, just me and him this week. In Primary today the kids were reviewing their song for Father's Day (I play piano for Primary) and they played a game where one person got to choose if boys or girls sang. The kid leading was supposed to flip the card back and forth so that each group had a turn to sing, but the little girl was sneaky and left it on the boys the entire time. There was ONE sweet little voice that sang the entire song, no hesitation with any of the words, perfectly on pitch, and I was really impressed with that little voice. I was so shocked to learn that the little voice belonged to Peter!!! How did I not know that he sang so well? How have I missed this talent? I will definitely take him out on a Mommy/Son outing this week, he deserves one!

This week is just one long week of prep and packing. The goal is to be totally packed Saturday so that I have two days to get last minute things taken care of before we leave for Utah. David has a campout he's going on this weekend, too. He's been looking forward to this one for months, so even if the timing isn't great I'm glad he's going. And maybe I'll start teaching this week! Who knows? I've read that it can take weeks before booking your first class. But then I also read that no one passes their mock classes the first try, and I did that. Who knows? I'm just going to do the best that I can. And maybe, just maybe, I can keep my sanity at the same time.

An eve

It is always a last-minute call. I don't envy the job of the surgery schedulers, they have a lot they are juggling. Operating rooms, doctors, surgeons, nurses... that's just one side. Then there's figuring out who takes the priority, which family has the greater need, how old are all of the kids going under... It is a lot. So I totally get why we don't get the official schedule until the last second. I have done this enough now that I am used to the call at the end of the day.

But this time is different. The last several times I've taken a child to the OR I have packed bags with blankets, several days of clothes, a bathroom bag (make sure there's lotion and chapstick in that bathroom bag, hospitals are very dry places), a book for the waiting (if you forget one I bet that the activity room/child life room has random teen romances you can pick up, I've done that a couple of times), pocket change for vending machines, and socks. Lots of socks. (You could always pack slippers, if that's your thing, but I've found them to be cumbersome because jumping in and out of slippers is much harder at 2:00a.m. when an alarm is going off somewhere in the Devil's Snare of wires entangling your thrashing, cranky, semi-conscious child.)

Our typical surgical mornings usually start at 4:00 a.m. to accommodate travel, traffic, and check-in time. We juggle the one car, so we get the other kids to sitters (bless them!) in these wee hours, after getting backpacks and lunches and clothes and shoes and teeth brushed and etc., ... And we do it all when we are barely functioning and the sun is still asleep.

This time, I'm taking David. We don't leave until after I've dropped the kids off at school and left Elizabeth with a sitter. It is an easier morning. And there's no bags. I'm taking my laptop so I can watch a few training videos, but there's no suitcase to haul in with us. It is nice. The challenge in this surgery will be that he can't eat breakfast (have you ever denied a pre-teen boy his breakfast? That's rough 😜).

David was nervous. He asked for a blessing, so I called our ministering brothers to come and give him a priesthood blessing. I'm grateful for good men, men that can provide extra peace and comfort to my kids and I when we need it. These are men that David has admired for a long time. And they are a blessing.

At the end of the day all will be well, and hopefully David's hearing is restored.