Quilt

I learned to quilt as a kid when a sister from church had the grand idea that my mom would like a quilt for her birthday. We were staying with them for a week (or weekend, can't remember which), and we spent spare moments sewing hearts onto squares and piecing four-square patches.

When I was 16 I figured, Hey! I can sew a straight line, how hard could a quilt be? And I made a baby quilt for a dear leader. I remember sitting myself down in front of a single shelf at the library that had a ton of quilt books, and I started pulling books at random until I found a patchwork pattern that looked simple enough. That quilt took FOREVER and it was a steeeeeeeeeeep learning curve. My leader's mother kindly took the quilt and me in hand and taught me how to do simple repairs, and a faster, more efficient, way to do the finicky mitered corners that I'd spent hours trying to perfect.

I've gone on to make this quilt a few more times. I just finished the latest iteration, it took me a grand total of three hours to complete. I've got two more on the chopping block.

I was trying to remember just how many times I've made this quilt...

Ethan

Girl blanket for YW service project

Boy blanket for YW service project

Faith

David

Seth

Digory

Sean

Sky

Andrea

Evelyn (I think...)

Charlotte

Peter

Matthias

Henry

William

Calvin

Church project

Adeline

Griffin

Lauren

Baby May

I wish I had pictures of all of them. Try as I might I couldn't find all of them, a couple I didn't bother taking pictures anyway. I have no idea if any of these babies still have their quilts (aside from my own kids), or if they ever even used them (again, aside from my own kids). Either way, I always enjoy stitching a little love for these little guys.

Friends

 I have some amazing friends. I've been thinking a lot about friends lately, especially as I've watched my kids form friendships these last few years. 

David had a pretty good crew of kids he was friends with in elementary school, but middle school was cruel, and David asked to be home schooled. Those boys all still enjoy seeing one another, but time and circumstances are getting in the way. This means that David has been relying on his friendships with the boys from church. Fortunately, they are all the same type of nerdy gamers, and they all will get on and play games online, get onto their Discord calls and laugh and joke with each other. They have fun. I miss the days that we could do play dates.

Andrea has Ben. They've been best buds for so long. I am always so happy to see them playing together, they have the most imaginative adventures together. Andrea has struggled some with being friends with girls. She's found them to be a little mean and focused too much on phones. What's with that? What would she be like with a phone? I really don't know. I hope she'd be nice. Maybe it is a good thing none of my kids are on social media.

Peter spends a lot of time with Elizabeth these days. He can also make friends wherever he goes, and he enjoys playing with the kids from his den at cubs, or with his buddies from church. He likes to pull out the wolf ears and capes with his BFF Lucy, and they play all sorts of funny games. Again, like the big kids, he's got friends on Roblox.

I've had amazing friends throughout my life. But I have to say, there's something totally different about making friends as an adult. I've got this interesting dynamic I've got to work with where I'm not just making friends with other women, but its extra nice if our kids get along and our husbands can all hang out together. It was something I had never thought of as a kid. And I've been incredibly lucky in these friends we've made here in Michigan.

Melissa and I share a birthday, how crazy is that?? Our family busted out of our eight week quarantine shortly before my birthday this year, so we three had a lot of fun being incredibly goofy to celebrate. Brunch, and thrift store finds, then we played with my camera and got some very flattering photos.

I'm incredibly grateful for these amazing ladies. I'm so glad our kids all get along! I'm so grateful that our husbands have the same nerdy passions (Tyler and Jonathan even randomly have the same LOTR shirt).

I realized I'd never documented the birthday shenanigans. So now it is on the internet, it is never going away, and I'm glad I've got these fun memories documented always. :)

January is cold

We've spent a lot of time indoors this month. David was invited to go sledding with a friend last week. We were actually all invited to meet up, but with Elizabeth's legs... She wasn't even walking yet, and heaven forbid someone hit her. Nope. Hard pass from us. But David went, and he had fun.

Finally got the boys' shields and helmets up on their wall. It looks pretty neat in there now. It took forever for me to figure out how to get them up and arranged. I finally appealed to FB for guidance, and someone very involved in medieval reenactment told me how to get it done. Collective wisdom. Its a beautiful thing.

David also made a plague mask for Halloween. Would you believe it, he's worn it several times since. Just because. He needed it to go on his wall, too. It looks a little like the creepy muppets in Dark Crystal to me, but David loves it so... It stays.

 This cat is killing me. He's such a cuddly fluff-a-poof, but he causes a fuss almost every morning while I'm teaching. Its 5:00am, and he'll decide its time for aggressive cuddles, so he will sprint and launch himself into my face in the middle of my class. My students think it is hilarious I suddenly have a mouthful of cat tail. Good thing he's cute. And cuddly.

Elizabeth started walking. Its pretty stiff still, but she's gaining speed.

Jonathan is on orders. He was worried he was going to be moved to DC with the rest of his unit, but because he took COVID orders first they won't be moving him off them. That's nice. His were the last set of orders with the perks that make orders really nice. Everyone else won't get the same compensation he is getting.

David leaves next week for a ski trip with a friend. He went last year and had a blast, so it was really important to him that he go this year. I think we might try to do it as a family next year. Depends on Jonathan's schedule. We are already doing Disney this year, so that's a lot of $$ and planning.

I gave a talk at church this past Sunday. Its weird, about a month ago I had the thought that it had been a while. Like, a solid couple of years. And I was totally satisfied with this arrangement of flying under the radar. But my subconscious must have been warning me because I started having crazy dreams about giving a talk that always ended horribly. The last one was a dream that I'd forgotten I was going to speak, so I went up to the podium, started singing, then remembered we aren't allowed to sing in church. So I started humming and wandered over to the organ to play. It was awful. But I got a text during my third class that next morning asking me to speak. No WAY was I putting it off after that weirdo dream.

Anyway, for posterity, here's the talk:

As a young girl, I spent hours reading from a treasured copy of "The Book of Virtues". I've never been much of one for poetry, but I distinctly remember the day I first read a poem by Sam Walter Foss entitled "The House By the Side of the Road." The words echoed the sincerest desires of my young hear, and I've often fallen back on them throughout my life.

"There are hermit souls that live withdrawn

in the peace of their self-content;

There are souls, like stars, that dwell apart,

In a fellowless firmament;

There are pioneer souls that blaze their paths

Where highways never ran;-

But let me live by the side of the road

And be a friend to man.

Let me live in a house by the side of the road,

Where the race of men go by -

The men who are good and the men who are bad,

As good and as bad as I.

I would not sit in the scorner's seat,

Or hurl the cynic's ban;-

Let me live in a house by the side of the road

And be a friend to man."

In the end, is that not what we have all covenanted to do? We demonstrated we were "desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people" and thus covenanted that we are "willing to bear one another's burdens, that they might be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort." And as we act on our covenants, in faith, our efforts are magnified and we are led as heavenly agents to render aid or service to others around us. This is the very definition of Ministering (seriously, that's what it says in the Webster's dictionary). The Church website states that "ministering is learning of and attending to others' needs. It is doing the Lord's work. When we minister, we are representing Jesus Christ and acting as His agents to watch over, life, and strengthen those around us."

So how do we go about ministering as the Savior would want us to? What would Jesus have me do?

1. Forgive yourself. Yep. Start with you. Look in the mirror, and be nice to yourself. Reaching out to people we barely know can be daunting for anyone. Don't be hard on yourself for your perceived shortcomings and mistakes and anxieties. In introducing the new ministering program, Jeffrey R Holland said, "We will continue to visit homes as possible, but local circumstances such as large numbers, long distances, personal safety, and other challenging conditions may preclude a visit to every home every month. As the First PResidency counseled years ago, do the best you can." This means in the ways taht are best for your circumstances and health. Know your limitations, establish healthy boundaries for yourself and your family. This does not mean that we do not step out of our comfort zone, or that every interaction will always be easy. But it does mean that we take ourselves and our health into account. This is not an excuse to do nothing. But forgive yourself if your best doesn't look like a perfect Pinterest board. M. Russel Ballard shared this story: "One of my children once said, 'Dad, I wonder if I will ever be able to make it.' I responded, 'All Heavenly Father asks of us is to do the very best we can each day.' Brothers and sisters, do the best you can do day after day, and before you know it, you will come to realize that your Heavenly Father knows you and that He loves you." Your best effort is all that is required.

2. As you forgive yourself and then try your best, my second recommendation is to remember your role. You are NOT the Savior. We have one, His name is Jesus Christ. Let Him do His job of saving people; your job is to love, serve, help, be kind and listen, comfort and mourn. Do not make another person's salvation your responsibility. Do your best to do as the spirit directs, and let HIm do the rest. The Church Handbook of Instruction states that our responsibility as ministers is to "represent" the Lord. We are to "watch over" Church members and "be with and strengthen them". We are to help them strengthen their faith in God and Christ, help them to prepare to make and keep sacred covenants, and discern needs and provide Christlike love and swervice; and most importantly, help them become spiritually and temporally self-reliant. The greatest work of our Savior and Heavenly Parents is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of mankind, that is something that is totally out of the realm of our abilities to accomplish. Our greatest work is to show ourselves and otehrs the way to Them in our every action.

3. Ask those you serve what they need. Too often we start trying to do things for the people we're asked to serve without even know what they want. Sister Jean B. Bingham said, “Sometimes we think we have to do something grand and heroic to 'count' as serving our neighbors. Yet simple acts of service can have a profound effects on others – as well as on ourselves.” Get to know those are assigned to, become a friend by letting them know you care. I'm not knocking cookies, I always appreciate a Diet Dr Pepper visit myself, but don't make that your only interaction once a month. Christ didn't just heal and pray, sometimes his service was celebrating, too. He rejoiced when he saw the faith of the Nephites, he provided refreshment at a wedding. So go to their kids' recitals or football games. Congratulate them on their new job, recognize their triumphs at school. “Celebrate successes large or small. It could be getting through cancer or getting through a breakup, finding a new job or finding a lost shoe, surviving a month after the loss of a loved one or surviving a week without sugar. Call to congratulate, drop off a card, or go out for lunch. By sharing in our blessings together, living with gratitude, and celebrating the blessings and success of others, we 'have rejoicings in the joy of our brethren.'” (“Are You Missing This Vital Part of Ministering?” Ensign, October 2019). I have felt the love and friendship of my ministers as they have gone on a walk with me, sent their kids to watch Andrea dance, or stopped by with a random Dr Pepper on a random day. I have received ministering love when a family, who had no assignment, simply saw a mom tired and struggling with her little ones while their dad was away for an extended period of time, and they invited me and the kids to have dinner with them. I appreciate the little text, “Hey! How are you today?” or “Look at my happy plant!” Or even just a funny meme. Puzzle nights, sewing dates, a ride to an activity, an encouraging smile and a bright laugh. A friend ministered in the purest way when she cried tears of joy with me when Elizabeth said to her, “Look at my legs!” and took shaky steps around the room on her first day walking since early November. Small and simple.

M Russell Ballard taught: “Our ministering efforts will be more successful if we keep our ministering simple. The most joy comes from the simple things of life, so we need to be careful not to think that more needs to be added to any of the adjustments we have received to build faith and strong testimonies in the hearts of God’s children.”
The church website has other suggestions for that include doing family history and temple work, avoiding negative judgements and encouraging others, and creating a culture of inclusion at Church. I recently heard this, that we must be “...willing to stand in the other person's shoes for just a moment. Because here's the thing about life: there is no accounting for what fate will deal you. There are some days when we need a hand. There are other days when we're called on to lend one.

That is how we must be with one another.” (President Biden, Inaugural Address, Jan. 20, 2021). And I know that these are truly the simple things that help us grow to be a Zion people.

4.Let others help you help others. Just like you're not the Savior, you are also not the only person in your church. Know your personal limitations, and where appropriate enlist the aid of others to help. Richard C. Edgley taught:

“From bearing one another’s burdens as ward members, we have learned several lessons:

- The Lord’s organization is fully adequate to know and care for those with even the most dire emotional and spiritual needs.

- Adversity can bring us closer to God, with a renewed and enlightened appreciation for prayer and the Atonement, which covers pain and suffering in all their manifestations.
- Members who suffer tragedy firsthand often experience an increased capacity for love, compassion, and understanding. They become the first, last, and often the most effective responders in giving comfort and showing compassion to others.
- A ward, as well as a family, draws closer together as it endures togetherg —what happens to one happens to all.

And perhaps most important, we can each be more compassionate and caring because we have each had our own personal trials and experiences to draw from. We can endure together.”

When my sorrows or struggles were more than a ministering sister or brother could tackle, I can think of the many experts that have been sent in to render aid. There's always someone that knows how to help with a resume, or get your son's tie fixed before he passes the sacrament. For me there were sisters who understood the heartache of empty arms when a baby gains her wings before you can hold her; brothers and sisters that are experts in their field and can provide calming assurances that my very sick son will be okay and can interpret the medical jargon I do not understand. When personal relationships and trials were almost too overwhelming, there was a sister that perfectly comprehended the hurt and could help identify healthy coping mechanisms and introduced me to invaluable resources. There is SOMEONE in this congregation that understands what you are

experiencing, or what the families you minister to are experiencing, and can offer wisdom and support in ways that others may not. Do not be afraid to seek out this help in behalf of those you minister to, where appropriate and necessary. Bishops, Relief Society presidents, and Elders quorum presidents are a great place to start if you don't know where to go.

5.  Finally, how do we minister as the Savior would have us minister? Just be you. You were given this assignment because of the person you are, not because of the person you aren't. Gary E. Stevenson said, “ Heavenly Father can take our simple, daily efforts and turn them into something miraculous.” Maybe you do not feel you are enough. Maybe you feel these small acts are inadequate or your simple efforts are insufficient; I promise you, they are enough. YOU are enough. Jeffrey R Holland - “In spite of what we all feel are our limitations and inadequaciesg —and we all have challengesg —nevertheless, may we labor side by side with the Lord of the vineyard, giving the God and Father of us all a helping hand with His staggering task of answering prayers, providing comfort, drying tears, and strengthening feeble knees.”

David L Beck taught, “Minister every day. Opportunities are all around you. Look for them. Ask the Lord to help you recognize them. You will find that most consist of small, sincere acts that help others become followers of Jesus Christ."

In my life, I have been greatly touched by the simple acts of faithful ministers. I have been incredibly blessed by what might have been a mundane thing for them! Blessings for my children while their dad was away, or blessings for me as I struggled to cope. One sister invited me to sit on her couch while I was miserably sick with morning sickness, she was happy to let our kids play and let me rest. I've had more than one person just KNOW I needed a Dr Pepper, and one magically appeared at my door (thank you!). I once accepted a request to participate in a special RS project, then three days before our first rehearsal, I miscarried. A dear sister saw me in the hall and just knew something was wrong, and when I tearfully explained what was happening in my life at that moment she told me to go home and she'd handle any disappointment from the other participants. She had my back! This same sister pulled over on a crazy day last May to help Jonathan get me to the car when I'd fallen down my stairs and was out of my mind with pain over a severely sprained foot. She'd seen us struggling to get to the car, and she didn't hesitate. In that moment I had NO idea who she was, just that an angel helped a sailor into a car – and she totally didn't judge.

A ministering sister turned precious friend has made more hospital trips for me, to collect a kid (I could have SWORN I was going home, no way was I having a baby that day), or bring me an overnight bag when a little one was suddenly admitted for a week and I had nothing with me. Rides to airports, rides FROM airports, popcorn or cookies or wrapping paper or a plant or a pretty wreath for my door at Christmas... “What day should I bring you dinner?” or “Hey! I've got an extra Dr Pepper, you want it?” or “Let's go catch a movie.” or “Can we come decorate your Christmas tree?” In a moment when I'd been made to feel absolutely worthless, a dear sister held my shaking hands through a vulnerable moment, gave me the strength to complete my task, commended my endurance when I felt I was so weak and things were hopeless. She gave me love when I felt unloveable. And then she took a deep breath with me and said, “Lets go get a Dr Pepper!” And the best tortellini Romano ever! Her small acts may have seemed insignificant to her, but they were miracles to me, and a healing balm to my broken heart.

So how do we minister as the Savior would have us minister?

Let me live in a house by the side of the road, 

Where the race of men go by -

They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong, 

Wise, foolish – so am I.

Then why should I sit in the scorner's seat,

Or hurl the cynic's ban?

Let me live in my house by the side of the road

And be a friend to man. 

Before

This was from our last hike before Elizabeth's major hip surgery this fall. She is a mover, she never stops. But she stopped, hopped up on the bench, and said "Take a picture, Mom!" So I did. I'm counting down, 8 days until the cast comes off.

Things that need doing this week:

- Planners need updating

- Appointments need making

- Andrea has an orthodontist appointment

- David and I have Zoom classes tonight, and Andrea and Peter have Zoom scouts

- I need to research more Procreate App classes

- Somehow I need to get the oil changed on the car

I'm cracking

So I feel like I'm really beginning to lose it.

I applied for a job. It had several steps to actually getting hired and signing a contract, and I thought I'd have time to do it all at my leisure. Turns out I had six days, start to finish, to get the contract documents in and signed. Woof.

1. Passed my demo interview, no problems.
2. Passed the mock class first try (apparently that's a big deal).
3. Got most of the documents in.
4. Passed the ESL certification course today (good grief it was tough).
5. I'm recording a profile video tomorrow morning.
6. I'm taking a professional-looking photo tomorrow morning, too.
7. Upload 5 and 6, sign the contract, and I'll open my schedule for teaching.

I've been super stressed about that certification stuff, and the last minute deadlines I didn't know about until it was too late. I don't do well with last minute deadlines. I like to know my deadlines well in advance so I can pace myself and not feel rushed, confident the work I'm turning in is my best. I know some people "thrive" in that system of last-minute proficiency, but that isn't me. Planners and pacing are the only ways to live. Procrastination induces panic and hysteria. I keep stopping to remind myself that it is really not that bad, the world isn't ending just because the deadline is tomorrow and I had very little notice. I am probably overthinking a lot. But reminding myself of that doesn't take away that nervous, irrational frenzy that plagues my mind and makes mountains of mess out of lego molehills. My poor kids. I've been less of a mom the last few days.

David's surgery went super smoothly. He really wanted to get home, so he forced himself to quickly eat and drink right after surgery. The first time he stood up he realized how drugged he was and he nearly toppled over. They still sent him home, though. He was so woozy while wheeled him to the car. And then as soon as the car got moving he was done. I'm grateful they supplied us with a barf bag, and we stopped for ginger ale on the way home. His second attempt at holding down liquids and solids was successful and he was fine by the end of the day.

Elizabeth has been a beast. I think she's given up napping, but its not pretty. If she takes a nap she is up until 10:00 at night. Or later! There were two nights where she just screamed for so long that I pulled her out and she watched me fold and listen to work trainings on Youtube until midnight. The days she doesn't nap she goes to bed on time, but life is miserable for all of us starting around 4:00 until 7:00 when she finally goes to bed for the night. Let us add to that mess! The other day she climbed out of her crib, lost her balance on the top of it, and landed, HARD, on the floor. That is 1) very dangerous, and 2) really risky for her hips. We CANNOT risk something happening to those hips!!!! So. We converted her crib to a toddler bed. She woke me up at 3:00a.m. last night by shoving the computer keyboard and mouse in my face and asking to watch Coco. That was a hard pass from me. Fortunately cuddling for a minute then placing her back in her bed was enough to get her back to sleep.

Andrea has a big project due in school tomorrow. I think it is rather cruel to assign a massive project like this for the very last days of school, but whatever. The entire 3rd grade is making a "mini society", and they all had to come up with businesses and things to sell. Did she choose the simple, already-got-all-the-supplies-we-need, bath bombs and sugar scrubs? Nope. She wanted to go all out and make pet rocks for her business. 😑 Fortunately I left a lot of it up to her, I only procured the rocks. She did all the other work, and we did have all the supplies she needed (apart from those rocks). I can't wait to see how it all comes together at the school tomorrow, but I do kinda wish she'd just done the bath bombs. She's goofy. But hey, now she's got a few business ideas she can build off of in the future. Silver lining, right?
Andrea performed at the Motor City Irish Festival on Saturday. She's so good at counting, and so confident on when to start. Both songs she counted everyone in, though the first time the little girl leading them on wouldn't listen to her and waited for the teacher to get back to count them on. It irked Andrea, which made me laugh. But she had fun, and there were a lot of fun acts and things to do and shops to see. It was like going to the Michigan Irish Festival in Muskegon, only on a much smaller scale. Muskegon is SO big, and there's SO much to see. This was much more manageable for a mom hauling four kids around by herself. I was told I need to go to the Dublin, Ohio Irish festival; apparently that one takes two solid days to see everything. Maybe we'll do that one next year when J can help with the kids.

Peter, my happy-go-lucky kid, has had a rough go of it lately. We're trying to get him to stop wetting the bed at night, and I'm trying to help him be more independent in taking care of his room. Since totally reorganizing the boys' room it has been so much easier for him to keep things clean, but it is still an incredible effort for him. And then I've really not been paying attention to him as I should have. I've been so wrapped up in getting things together for the interviews and my class, and I've been so short and impatient with him. Poor guy, he really is just so tenderhearted, and I have had no patience for it this week. I need to do something special, just me and him this week. In Primary today the kids were reviewing their song for Father's Day (I play piano for Primary) and they played a game where one person got to choose if boys or girls sang. The kid leading was supposed to flip the card back and forth so that each group had a turn to sing, but the little girl was sneaky and left it on the boys the entire time. There was ONE sweet little voice that sang the entire song, no hesitation with any of the words, perfectly on pitch, and I was really impressed with that little voice. I was so shocked to learn that the little voice belonged to Peter!!! How did I not know that he sang so well? How have I missed this talent? I will definitely take him out on a Mommy/Son outing this week, he deserves one!

This week is just one long week of prep and packing. The goal is to be totally packed Saturday so that I have two days to get last minute things taken care of before we leave for Utah. David has a campout he's going on this weekend, too. He's been looking forward to this one for months, so even if the timing isn't great I'm glad he's going. And maybe I'll start teaching this week! Who knows? I've read that it can take weeks before booking your first class. But then I also read that no one passes their mock classes the first try, and I did that. Who knows? I'm just going to do the best that I can. And maybe, just maybe, I can keep my sanity at the same time.

An eve

It is always a last-minute call. I don't envy the job of the surgery schedulers, they have a lot they are juggling. Operating rooms, doctors, surgeons, nurses... that's just one side. Then there's figuring out who takes the priority, which family has the greater need, how old are all of the kids going under... It is a lot. So I totally get why we don't get the official schedule until the last second. I have done this enough now that I am used to the call at the end of the day.

But this time is different. The last several times I've taken a child to the OR I have packed bags with blankets, several days of clothes, a bathroom bag (make sure there's lotion and chapstick in that bathroom bag, hospitals are very dry places), a book for the waiting (if you forget one I bet that the activity room/child life room has random teen romances you can pick up, I've done that a couple of times), pocket change for vending machines, and socks. Lots of socks. (You could always pack slippers, if that's your thing, but I've found them to be cumbersome because jumping in and out of slippers is much harder at 2:00a.m. when an alarm is going off somewhere in the Devil's Snare of wires entangling your thrashing, cranky, semi-conscious child.)

Our typical surgical mornings usually start at 4:00 a.m. to accommodate travel, traffic, and check-in time. We juggle the one car, so we get the other kids to sitters (bless them!) in these wee hours, after getting backpacks and lunches and clothes and shoes and teeth brushed and etc., ... And we do it all when we are barely functioning and the sun is still asleep.

This time, I'm taking David. We don't leave until after I've dropped the kids off at school and left Elizabeth with a sitter. It is an easier morning. And there's no bags. I'm taking my laptop so I can watch a few training videos, but there's no suitcase to haul in with us. It is nice. The challenge in this surgery will be that he can't eat breakfast (have you ever denied a pre-teen boy his breakfast? That's rough 😜).

David was nervous. He asked for a blessing, so I called our ministering brothers to come and give him a priesthood blessing. I'm grateful for good men, men that can provide extra peace and comfort to my kids and I when we need it. These are men that David has admired for a long time. And they are a blessing.

At the end of the day all will be well, and hopefully David's hearing is restored.

Time flies

Mother's Day Spa with Kinder

I was late. I was so wrapped up in helping get David ready for his bake sale that I didn't keep track of the time. Poor Peter. He was really sad when I finally got to the spa. I was only 10 minutes late, but it was enough. But he forgave me after a bit and we had fun. The nail polish finally all chipped off last week.

David did really well selling his baked goods. He was such an enthusiastic entrepreneur that the director of the fair took his picture and used it as a highlight photo. Go, David! The other kids turned into selling popsicles. I didn't look at the weather forecast closely enough and the littles froze. This has been a really unusual May. Last year it was unusually hot. This year it has been unusually cold. I had to walk down the road and get socks and leggings to give them extra layers.

I had a good Mother's Day. The kids were so cute and I got lots of adorable cards, a gift card, and a fun shirt. It was a great day!

Birthday shenanigans were had this month. Andrea turned 9, David turned 12. I don't know how that happened, it just happened so fast! How do 12 years go so quickly? No clue.

There's been lots of doctor appointments, and dentist and orthodontist appointments. We've had a few really hard moments. We are making it, there's just a lot happening all at once. I am so proud of how the kids and I have soldiered on. The kids, especially, have been so incredibly great! They've stepped up and helped out when they've seen a need. There were minimal tears when I made the boys totally upend and reorganize their room (girls are next).

This week has been really calm. We haven't had nearly as much scheduled this week as we have the rest of the month. It was a reprieve, we dive back in next week with four doctor appointments, one surgery, and two Saturday activities. Typing that out I think I'm going to cut out one of the Saturday activities, lets just do one. Hahaha!

We are counting down the days to our Utah trip! We found a fish sitter, and a cat sitter. I'm working on a ride to get us to the airport and back.

More pictures of the kids:

Recap

Sunday - Church and... I can't remember what else we did. Probably just church.

Monday - Scouts, errands, getting things together for David's birthday in a few weeks.

Tuesday - I went and sewed, got Elizabeth's summer shirts nearly finished.

Wednesday - Hula.

Took E to the ENT, they scooped the tube out of her ear. It had come out of place and was just resting in her ear canal, usually they just come out on their own. But she kept digging at her ear and it was bothering her. They had noted that twice it was out, but they didn't want to stick sharp grabbing instruments into the ear of a wiggly two-year-old. It was driving her crazy though, so I took her in, we turned on Moana, and she held so incredibly still the entire time. Dr was impressed, even let her pick a toy out of the toy box (we've been to SO many appointments there, I never knew they had a toy box). And she's been a much happier toddler since then. Thank goodness.

Andrea had dance that evening, David went to mutual.

Thursday - David was supposed to see the ENT, but silly me, I thought that when I made the appointment and they said they'd do the hearing test first and then we'd see the doctor, the appointment time of 8:50 was when that whole circus would start. Turns out, that was only the ENT, the audiologist was before that. So we had to reschedule. But I got Elizabeth to her speech group, and I had a better day after that. Went and did more sewing.

Friday - I helped with popcorn. Helped David make cinnamon rolls. Then we had the talent show at the church. I played a Chopin Nocturne*. Andrea and Peter performed with the Primary kids in singing "You're Welcome", and Andrea performed a reel.

Saturday - Andrea had rehearsal for her recital. Then she played with B. I'm glad she has such a great friend (funny thing, they showed up to the talent show the night before wearing the same color shirt and were highly amused that they matched without planning it). The boys and I cleaned the house, I finally got my kitchen fully scrubbed down. Peter then worked on his boats for his shop, and David did some reading of Harry Potter. We picked up Andrea, ran some errands, then I took the middles to see Endgame. My favorite moment? Andrea excitedly telling me that Captain Marvel had a pixie cut, just like her! Andrea has lately fielded some mean comments from kids at school and church about her choice of hair style, so she was happy to see a powerful GIRL superhero rocking her same 'do. She loves that haircut, and it is absolutely adorable on her. I'm glad that despite the meanness she is not deterred.

Today is Andrea's recital, we are having dinner with friends this evening, and then we are prepping for a very busy week. It will be a good one!


* Funny story about that Nocturne, and what a terrible big sister I was... We had some sort of unwritten rule between us girls that we weren't allowed to play each others music. Like, we'd get seriously upset with each other if anyone started playing the other's songs. I think it started with how mad we'd get that we'd practice so much just to have the other walk up and have no problems playing it. Well, Holly had long loved this Nocturne (we first heard it on The Secret Garden), and she was always saying that she wanted to find it and learn to play it. One day I was leafing through one of our classics books and started fiddling around with this Chopin piece, only to discover it was the beloved tune from the movie. Cue headphones and constant practice until I could play it pretty well. Then I played without the headphones and crushed poor Holly's heart because she now could not play "MY" song. *eyeroll* I was a terrible big sister, and it was a silly "rule". We play each others music all the time now. And we're good friends today, so I guess it all ended well.

Cranky

Okay. This was the week. I haven't needed a mommy break yet, I haven't felt overwhelmed by having the kids by myself. Until this week. Elizabeth keeps spiking these crazy fevers. She is eating, she is drinking, and she's sleeping fine. But she has been a wee beast the entire week. We are ALL super tired of her crankiness, screeching, and off-and-on crying. Just when I'd be ready to take her in to a doctor the fever would break and she'd be fine. Then we'd do it all again a day later. She can't help it, she feels super crummy, but good grief it has been a long week. I'm hoping she's gotten over this, she didn't have a fever yesterday or today, just super crabby.

Oh, and her diaper this morning. Hahahaha!

That's a fair representation of what she looked like. Hahaha! She wore a onesie to bed, and then I laid her down to change her this morning and everything just.... smooshed... everywhere. I had to pull this onesie up over her head. With everything smooshed up her back anyway... I have a picture, but I'm not sharing that... Just picture Elizabeth looking a bit like the dog...

Monday - David got more stuff finished with Scouts. The littles and I went and played at the park. Elizabeth fussed. Andrea got a splinter. Peter made a new best friend. Jonathan got dental work done.

Tuesday - We went to Kensington to check out the farm animals. I hoped, really, really hoped that it would snap Elizabeth out of her funk. No dice. But she loved the chickens! Then she spiked a fever again. That was fun. David rescued a turtle out of the road. We always enjoy doing that. It is that time of year, the turtles are crossing roads to find a place to lay their eggs.

Andrea and I made soap on Tuesday. She has two more batches to make to be ready for her sale in two weeks. Now that we are coming up on it I feel like there is a lot to do for that craft fair, but the kids are so excited!

Wednesday - I had dance, I needed the break. Elizabeth slept the entire time. We are learning a new hula, it requires a LOT of ka'o. Ka'o is a stationary step, lift alternating heels so your hips make a figure 8. My teacher says I'm overthinking it, when I don't think it looks great. But then I get tripped up adding in other steps. My brain hurt almost as much as my legs the rest of the day! Then Andrea had dance, her recital is next Sunday. She's excited about the fancy choreography, it is going to be so pretty!

Today we stayed home while Elizabeth ran amok all day.

Tomorrow we are playing it low key again. I really need Elizabeth to get totally better. David is leaving for a campout with his troop. He's so close to First Class! I think this campout will get it for him. He's got grand plans for Merit Badges with Baba this summer, he's really been looking forward to it.

Saturday the kids really want to go to the Chicken Show at the library. Elizabeth will love that.... if she's feeling better. So maybe send some good thoughts and prayers her way.

I am Moana!

 I finished my pa'u Tuesday night. Lessons learned: 1) Start threading the waist elastics from the bottom. Starting at the top and working down makes for a handful of tightly gathered fabric that is hard to work around the further down the skirt you go. 2) Get an elastic threader. Running a safety pin through five yards of fabric is a tedious nightmare.

Dance this week was a trip, my teacher really worked us hard! We are coming up on performance season, so she was really making sure we know all the dances (I don't) and that we are prepared to perform (I'm not). I'll probably wait until next year to start going to performances. I need to learn the choreography and then get the costumes. I'll get there!

Elizabeth felt a little warm Tuesday evening. Wednesday afternoon I took her temperature.

She stayed mostly happy the entire time. She has been on a Moana kick lately, so we watched a lot of "You're Welcome" and laughed at Heihei antics a few times over every day. I don't mind having Moana stuck on repeat... right now. Fever broke yesterday, but we're still watching Moana.

And this week:

Monday - I discovered that for the last two weeks David actually hasn't done anything at scouts. He didn't know how to sign up for merit badges, and he graduated the First Year program so he's not being actively called in to follow a group. It is all up to him now. And he didn't know what to do. So rather than ASK he has just been wandering around. That was frustrating. I am always telling the kids that to get ahead in life they have to ask questions. If they don't know what's going on, find someone that does and ask for help. If they are curious about learning a new skill, find someone and ask. If they see someone successfully doing what they want to do when they grow up, talk to that person, ask them for advice (and follow it), and learn from them. So that David just didn't ask someone what to do next just... ugh. He's 11, he'll learn, he just needs reminding right now. I guided David as we went through his remaining First Class requirements and he made a list of things he needs to do. He will go to scouts next week with a plan and questions to ask and get answered.

While David was at scouts we went and got Andrea's hair cut. She really likes her pixie cut, but she has wanted to grow out the bangs. The last few times we've gone to trim things the stylist didn't quite do what she wanted and she was always unhappy. This time it was done perfectly, and it looks so cute! She was happy, so we're taking notes for next time.

Tuesday - I worked. Really I just worked on my skirt, it really needed to be done. The middles had Cub Scouts. They're done. They completed all of their requirements, we're just waiting for crossover next week.

Wednesday - Andrea had dance. They are working on recital pieces. The entire group is looking really good. They are all working so hard. I can't wait for the recital, it is one of my favorite events!

Thursday - I worked again. I completely finished the shirt I was constructing, and I am so pleased with how it turned out. I also did some finishing on Andrea's Easter outfit. I didn't get the smocking done that I wanted to do, so I gave up on doing a nice dress for Elizabeth. But when I looked for dresses in store or online I just didn't like what I saw. Out of curiosity I had her try on her dress from last year. Still fits! Perfect! So I picked apart Andrea's dress from last year and did some fiddling and managed to get something together for her very easily. The boys already have their nice suits, and they have their bow ties from last year. I think we are all set! My friend asked what hats we would wear this year. Ha! Apparently the ward looks forward to the fascinators, hahaha! I wasn't going to wear one this year, but maybe I'll dust off last year's.

Today's agenda:
- Playing with friends (no school!!)
- Boys need haircuts
- Finish Andrea's pencil skirt
- Make soap
- Watch Moana

Next

David began to complain about water in his ear in January. I sincerely believed it was because of the weekly swim lessons, and the weekly trips to the pool he and I were taking for Elizabeth's lesson. He shook his head, we tried the drying drops, David dealt. Swim lessons ended, but the water persisted.

At the end of February David and Andrea both got wicked sore throats. David tested positive for strep. They also noted the fluid in David's right ear. They put it on record and instructed us to come back if he still had the water/plugged feeling in six weeks, or if it started to hurt. We couldn't do any more at the time because they needed to establish that it was an ongoing problem before doing any more.

This last week, David got an odd look and said "Mom, I can't hear out of this ear." I immediately called in and got him seen. Luckily there is no infection, and the ear doesn't look inflamed or damaged. But when they wheeled in the hearing-test cart I was nervous. Turn your back away from the nurse, hear a beep, raise your hand. Things started off well, but they'd started with the left ear. Then the nurse and tech watched David expectantly, reminded him what he was supposed to do, and waited for him to raise a hand while they pushed buttons and took notes. He totally failed that hearing test in the right ear. Ha.

So we are off to another doctor in a couple of weeks.

Other items of note this week:

Got a lot of the kids' summer clothes. Yay!

J passed the hardest test of his training. Yay!

I'm reorganizing. The kitchen looks great and is much easier to keep clean. Yay! Closets next.

Elizabeth's MRI showed a normal brain. Yay!

Clever titles aren't my thing

I've lost my voice. Don't know what happened, I think it is the waffling weather, but I woke up this morning and my throat hurts and it kills to talk. So it is a good thing the kids know a little bit of sign. It will be a quiet day.

Elizabeth had her MRI done yesterday. We were up at 4:30a.m. to get ready to go. I dropped the middles off with a friend so she could take them to school. Then Lizzie and I headed off to the hospital for a 6:30 check-in. Things went so smoothly, they even got us back earlier than scheduled! That's a first for us. She had to be sedated for the MRI, and the MRI took longer than they'd planned, so I'm glad they were able to get her back early. They offered to give her Versed, which really helps her be calm when they take her away, but it makes her doubly grumpy and groggy when coming out of anesthesia. The other option was to go back with them and hold her while they helped get her to sleep. I opted for that, and I'm glad I did because she wasn't nearly so scared going back, and she was back to her normal self by the early afternoon. We should have results in the next couple of days.

Conference was great this weekend. I really enjoyed a lot of the talks. 


The kids were good and listened a lot of the time. That allowed me to really listen, too. I am grateful for our leaders and the direction and peace found in their words. I can't wait to go back and study all the talks even more.

While listening to conference the kids worked on crafts for their fair. Andrea and Peter are almost fully stocked. David is doing baked goods, so that is really a last minute kind of shop. But he did work on cake postcards! Something fun to offer besides cakes and cookies.

We've gone to the park and on walks a lot the last few days. Spring has definitely sprung (just going to ignore the snow and sleet in the forecast for tonight and tomorrow), and it is getting so much warmer.  I made the summer-wardrobe list and did my audit of the closets. I'm surprised at how much we actually have, shirts from last year should fit for most of the summer (except for Peter, who somehow destroyed every single t-shirt last summer). So we are going to hit up the stores this Saturday and check off the list. Wish me luck!

Spring Break

This week has been a nice, relaxing week. Each day we've done a bit of Spring Cleaning, and each day we've done something a little entertaining.

Tuesday I did a lot of sewing for work while the kids played in the back yard. I'm very nearly finished with a shirt I've been working on for a while. I need to cuff the other sleeve and then sew the sleeves into place. Then done! Probably one more afternoon of work and I'll be finished. I also finished the edges of my fabric for my pa'u. I've been taking hula lessons, and I needed a skirt. I also need to make a bag for my pu'ili. This class is no joke, but I enjoy it so much. I have to admit, it has really made me miss the ocean, is that weird? The Great Lakes are nice, but I miss the salt. It has been six years since I've seen an ocean, eight since I visited California. Someday I'll go back!

We did the zoo on Wednesday. We hit some fun sites we don't normally see. Like the little farm area, where we saw a yak (I had no idea they were actually so small), and lots of chickens, pigs, and a cow. Elizabeth was super excited about all of them. (Maybe I should take her to the farm center in Kensington tomorrow, I bet she'd get a kick out of that!) She also flipped out over the giraffes. During the winter the zoo has them in a giant building, and we can see them in there. So we actually get a closer look at them during the winter, and she just thought they were the coolest things ever.

Today the middles had dentist appointments. Peter chipped a tooth the other day. Rather, he chipped the cap on his front tooth. Dentist said there's no point replacing it because there's no root and the adult tooth is really ready to come through. So it should be loose any minute now. Andrea had bad news. No cavities, but the ramifications of some prior dental work are hitting her hard now. I was hoping I'd have another year to prepare to get her into braces. Not so much. So I'm working a plan.

Tomorrow has no plans. I think we are going to finalize plans for the kids' craft fair items. They are all so excited about running their little shops next month. It has been tricky keeping the kids focused and helping them to think small, haha! They just want to go all out, and I have to remind them that we can't do that, the fair only runs for two hours.

I'm really looking forward to General Conference this weekend. This is David's first time going to the Priesthood session, too. It will be a great weekend. My Conference Craft is more smocking. I don't think I'll be able to get Easter dresses finished for the girls, or ties for the boys, but I'm going to see if I can get the panel finished. If I can I just might be able to make this dress happen. If I can't? Oh well. I have really given a lot of thought to what I commit to lately. Being the only parent in the home really does just take a lot of time. Again, life is not harder, everything just takes longer. So I've started saying "No" to an awful lot that I would otherwise have liked to do. But it is okay because the littles need me a lot right now, and that's the best feeling in the world. I've found that I feel a lot better slowing down and not over-extending myself so much. Who'd've thought, right? ;)

Week's recap : Feis rhymes with mesh

Monday - The fiasco with the car keys. That was fun. Late night.

Tuesday - A rare evening free, spent cleaning, grocery shopping, and cleaning. I made a drying rack for our laundry that I absolutely love. I can vacuum under it, that's my favorite part.

Wednesday - I did extra laundry, just because I was so giddy over that laundry rack. And I started getting prepped for our feis weekend. David had mutual, Andrea had dance. Mutual is a pain because it requires rides every single week, and I don't like inconveniencing the families in our ward like that. But he got there. And Andrea got to dance, then the last half hour of Activity Days when we got to the church to pick up David. Another late night, though.

Thursday - David played with a friend, I started cooking and packing and planning for our road trip. Andrea had dance. I also had the kids do a sock folding blitz with me. I hate folding socks. I don't know why. Maybe because trolls exist, they steal your socks, but only the left ones (why's that?). So we had two baskets with nothing but socks in it. The kids and I laid out all the clean socks in rows, then paired all that we could. We will find the rest eventually. I think. Why do we have so many socks? We need more trolls.

Friday - I volunteer at the school to help with popcorn every Friday. Then I packed and cooked and cleaned like a crazy lady. We drove straight from picking up the middles from school to our Airbnb in Columbus. Ohio is weird, man. Without anything adjusting, or our map changing course, the GPS added minutes to our drive time. When we left the house it told us we'd have a 3 1/2 hour drive ahead of us. By the time we were an hour in the GPS had added 20 minutes to that drive time. It got no better. Almost 5 hours later we rolled up to the Airbnb. I don't know how it did that. We hit no traffic, and we only had one potty stop. We ate the food I'd packed up in the car (use take-out boxes, it makes no mess, its not flat like a plate so it keeps food contained, and you can just throw it away when you're done), so we didn't stop for food. But somehow our drive took an hour and half longer than we'd anticipated.

Saturday - we were up and going at 7:00. That's a feis day for ya. Andrea got dressed, the boys got dressed, we ate the breakfast I'd packed, and we left. The Ohio Expo Center is a mess to get to, and don't listen to Larry when he tells you the ladies at the other booths take cards, it is a cash-only establishment. (Why didn't I have cash??? That was stupid, I always carry cash.) Andrea worked so hard the last few weeks to practice and learn all of her steps. She didn't do as well as she'd hoped. There was some stiff competition, and a LOT of kids competing in each dance. She came out about the middle of the pack in each one. The judge comments were the same in each dance: turn out your feet, crossover, high on your toes. Turn out has been a bear the entire time she's danced. She'll get there, if she wants to. We'll see what happens. We left the expo at 3:30. Again, our GPS said 3 hours, 27 minutes to get home. With one added stop we still didn't get home until 9:00. I don't know what happens in Ohio, but it adds time to your GPS. But it does have Chick-fil-A and Waffle House, so I'll give it that. Otherwise we bleed Blue, and PureMichigan is way better. Sorry, Buckeyes.

Things I've learned this week:

- Feising in Ohio is hard.
- Feising with all the kids is harder.
- Feising overnight and away from home needs to be saved for when Jonathan is back.*
- *Muskegon is an overnight feis, but it is also a great place with a warm sandy beach and a gorgeous lake that looks like an ocean. It does not count.
- Keep your keys in your pocket, even if you think the car door is unlocked.
- Ohio adds time to your drive.
- I need to say NO more often, I just don't have the time I think I do. I feel like everything takes longer without another parent. It isn't harder, it just takes more time. Like Ohio.

Key-ping it Real

Hardest part about having J gone (I think I've mentioned this) is that I have to take all of the kids to every activity we have. Scouts is really the worst because it runs from 7:30 (Elizabeth and Peter's bedtimes) until 9:00.

Last night, the littles and I found a little hallway so that Andrea could practice her dancing, and so Peter and Elizabeth would not get in anyone's way. By 8:45, however, Liz was done. She was not going to be quiet any longer, and was running amok in the gym. I decided to take all of the littles to the car and get them buckled in, then wait the last 15 minutes for David to be finished.

We get to the car. My key fob's battery is dead, so I have to unlock the car with the key. I get the door unlocked, throw my keys onto the driver's seat, then hit the unlock button on the switch. (Unfortunately, that switch has been jammed for a while, so it usually takes some effort to get the doors unlocked.)

I then turn to pick up Elizabeth and get her into her seat. We were parked on a slant, and between the weight of the door and the wind, my door shut. When I pull on the door handle to Elizabeth's door, the door is still locked. No big, I'll just put a little more pressure on that switch again.... only MY door is locked. And my KEYS are on the front seat. And Peter has no coat, I have no coat, and it is below freezing.

Sent the kids inside, called roadside assistance, and was told it would be 75 minutes before a locksmith could get to me to unlock the door. We waited inside the church until the last second, then headed out at 9:15 to hunker down for another 45 minutes in the cold. A kind scout's mom heard what happened and invited us to wait in her car! And then the locksmith showed up at 9:30. It still took another 25 minutes to get us into the car, but we got in!

So we finally rolled up home about 10:40, and then all of the kids headed off to bed right before 11:00. I decided there that I would let the kids sleep as late as they wanted, so even though school starts at 9:00, they did not get to school until 10:20 this morning. I don't feel bad about that.

And I've been rethinking my key habits. I think I'm going to buy a lanyard to put my keys on. If I wear it around my neck my keys will still be easy to access, but I won't throw them onto the seat to empty my hands. That's a cute look, right? (Just say yes.)

How the cookie crumbles

This week was nuts. We had something we were doing every single night, and were out later than usual every night. This week we have one free night! I'm so excited about that.

Today was a long day at church. Elizabeth didn't sleep last night until I'd hauled her out into the living room with me. So I finally got settled at 3:00 this morning. So we were late to church, and I was wiped. We didn't stay for the Linger Longer, I got home and napped. I'm hoping Elizabeth's nights will be a bit better this week.

The talks at church were good though. The topic was the atonement, which is always a good topic, but was a great way to start preparing for Easter celebrations.

The kids in Primary had fun learning their hand chimes. Andrea has them for one of the songs they are performing for Easter. And then the Sr. Primary is also learning harmonies for Beautiful Savior. It will be very pretty.

On the deck this week:
Scouts
Dance two nights this week
Mutual
Feis in Columbus

Jonathan got official news regarding training. Classes run for 26 weeks, barring problems. Unfortunately his classes haven't even started, and he's not sure if he will even start this week. And then there is processing after everything is finished, which can take a few weeks. It is all adding up to more time gone, poor kids. Good thing they are tough little ones.