Wednesday, April 6, 2016

A time for faith

I've been taking faith a day at a time. At times it is tough, but more often it is peaceful. For that I am grateful.

It is funny how quickly one can get attached to something the size of a poppy seed. Especially something that makes you violently ill and so unbelievably tired. It is with the heaviest of hearts that I said goodbye to someone I never knew, but loved with my whole self.

Faith in God... Not just for the good days when you wonder where you're going to put the crib. It is also for the days (maybe more especially for the days) when you put that crib away because it won't be needed after all.

My sister-in-law had guessed at our news the day before our loss. She was the second person I told about the loss. She went to her garden and picked some of her beautiful flowers, pressed them, then sent them to me. It was the perfect gift. 

The flowers could technically be considered dead and useless, but have been specially preserved to serve as a reminder of the love and care that surrounds me and my family in a time when we need it most.

And so we weather another storm. I am calm. I am at peace. I am oddly content. I cry, but I rejoice. We are sad, but there is relief. Andrea is our rainbow from the last time we fought through this storm. Maybe someday, in the distant future, there will be another rainbow. Maybe not. For now I watch the rain, for it has been made beautiful in its time.

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